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joels-shitty-puns · 1 year ago

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Jingle My Bells

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Reader

Summary: You and Dieter surprise each other with Christmas presents, and then earn your places on the naughty list.

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: 18+ ONLY!! (MDNI). Smut. P in V sex (protected). 69 (oral m and f). Face sitting. Kissing. Cussing. Terribly dirty holiday puns. Food mentions. Descriptions of genitals and arousal. Mentions of Christmas, but not religion.

Other: Reader is AFAB, but few descriptions otherwise. Established relationship. Celebrating Christmas.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Dieter was stirring, ready to tear off your blouse…

“Dieter! For fuck’s sake. Let me just finish these cookies for tomorrow and you can have my undivided attention,” you turned your head from the mixing bowl to kiss him. He hummed, practically a whine, as he pinched you on the ass.

“Did you finish decorating the tree?” you asked, trying to give him an activity.

“Yes…” he sucked on your neck.

“Did you use all the glass Christmas balls?”

“Mmmm, baby, I got all the Christmas balls you need right here,” he thrusted his hips against your behind. “They're gonna be blue pretty soon though..”

“Dieter!” You giggled. “Get outta here. Are the lights up?”

“Yes,” he growled, nibbling your ear. “But there's something else that’s up, too.”

“Yes, yes, I get it. You’re horny. But we have things to do before tomorrow.”

“You're the only thing I wanna do before tomorrow... Everyone else can stay home,” he kissed your shoulder, hands scooping around the cheeks of your ass.

“These will be ready in maybe 30 minutes. Why don't you go watch the Grinch or something?” You kissed his nose.

“Well I do love that green curmudgeon and his heart. But I've got something else growing 3x its normal size,” he winked.

“DIETER!!! Don't ruin the Grinch for me. Now keep it up and I won't give you any attention later. You'll have to take matters into your own hands.”

He gave a dramatic gasp. “You wouldn't! Don't you wanna have sex with me?” He asked, similar to the way he asked to have sex not long after first meeting each other. Along with everyone else in the vicinity…

“Yes, I do. But I have. To get. This dooooone,” you grumbled, punctuating each part of your sentence. “Here. Lick the beater. That'll make you happy.”

“Mmmm I do love cookie dough… but the only thing I wanna lick right now is-”

“DIETER!!!” You laughed.

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, making eye contact with you as he ran his tongue slowly up one of the metal lines of the beater, swirling it at the top where they meet. Your eyes drift to his lips. That tongue. The magic in which he knows how to use it. You sigh, deep in the memories of prior rendezvous. He smirks, deeming his beater-licking seduction as successful.

“Maybe after you finish baking, we can eat those cookies while you milk me,” he winked, scurrying out of the kitchen.

You shake your head, loading up a pan with cookie dough.

You were just finishing cleaning the dishes while the cookies baked, wondering where Dieter ended up. It was too quiet.

Walking into the living room, you found him, his usual green robe over his body, surrounding his shirtless belly and a pair of red plaid boxers. A Santa hat was slung haphazardly over his mess of curly hair.

You could see him fiddling with something above the fireplace and you walked over to see what he was doing. “Really, babe?” You laughed, noticing that he had arranged the block letters of “let it snow” to say “le tits now.”

“You're such a child, D,” you giggled and kissed him, tasting the chocolate from the cookie dough on his lips.

“Come on, that meme is hilarious, and you should have expected I'd do this when you bought these,” he smirked.

“Yeah, yeah..” you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him deeper. He licked the inside of your mouth, making you moan into the kiss. Kissing down your neck, he squeezed your breast with one of his hands, letting his thumb play with your nipple through your shirt. “Dieter…” you whined breathlessly, “I'm still waiting on the cookies.”

He groaned. “Fuck the cookies… I just want you.” He massaged your breast again, nipping at your chin. “Let me dick your halls,” he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “How many of these dirty Christmas jokes do you have? Did you buy a joke book or something?”

“These are alllll me, baby.” He smacked your ass. “And I'm just getting started.”

The oven beeped, interrupting your make-out session. “FINALLY!!!” Dieter yelled, throwing back his head.

He followed you into the kitchen and stood by as you pulled the trays out of the oven. Grabby hands reached for a cookie. “Careful, it's hot,” you warned.

“Mmmm, not as hot as you,” he bit into a cookie, chewing and huffing with his mouth open, trying to not burn his mouth.

As you scooped the last cookie onto the cooling tray, he grabbed your hand and threw the spatula on the counter. “Finally! I've been waiting all night… I have a surprise for you.”

“Do you!? Well it just so happens I have one for you as well,” you winked.

The two of you walked to your respective hiding spots before ducking away to separate bathrooms. Walking out in your red satin robe, you sat on the bed as he came out in his usual green robe, completely tied and wrapped around his body.

“Well…” he gave a come hither motion with his fingers. “Unwrap your gift, baby.”

Standing up and walking over to him, you began to untie his robe, him doing the same to yours.

“Oh. My. Gosh,” you gasped.

Dieter was laughing, the biggest grin on his face. Apparently the two of you had the same idea.

Under your satin robe, you wore a set of lingerie, Christmas themed. The bottoms had a mistletoe over the crotch, and on each nipple, a mistletoe dangled as well.

Under Dieter's robe, he wore basically just a string around his waist, with mistletoe dangling at the belt above his dick.

“Well… I guess we think alike,” you laughed, walking towards him to stroke below his mistletoe.

“You know what the rules of mistletoe are, baby..” he kissed your neck. “We can't have you ending up on the naughty list. You might end up with something rock hard in your stockings.”

“Oh don't worry. You know I'm a good girl,” you ran your palm over his cheek, still stroking his cock, now fully hard. “Let me suck your candy cane,” you ran your tongue across his lip. “Besides, according to mistletoe tradition, you've got some kissing to do too, baby,” you purred.

“Oh I intend to. Santa won't be the only one coming tonight,” he nibbled your ear, fingers swiping through your folds to gather some of your arousal before rubbing circles over your clit.

You grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the bed and having him lay on his back at the head of the bed. “69 me, baby” Dieter groaned, pulling you by your waist towards his face. “Gonna pay a visit to little saint dick?” he asked as you arranged your body to hover over him, mouth towards his cock.

“Nothing about you is little, D,” you cooed, licking him from base to tip and swirling around his slit. His hips jerked as he pulled you down over his mouth. “Sit on my face. I need to taste you better,” he pleaded.

Giving a wiggle in front of his line of sight, you sat down fully, resulting in a moan from you both, and a fresh drop of arousal directly to his lips.

“Fuuuuck, Dieter, that's so good,” you moaned, dick in your mouth as he swirled his tongue around your clit, occasionally pumping two fingers in your hole. You were getting close. Leaning in to ride his face, he pulled you down, mumbling under your cunt. “Yeah baby, ride me. Ride my face. Ride it like a sleigh,” his hips thrust, causing you to drool over his cock, mixing with a pool of precum on his balls.

“Dieter, I'm gonna-” the grinding of your hips was getting more and more sloppy.

“Come for me, baby. Come on my face.” He angled his fingers a little bit more, hitting that spot that drove you absolutely wild.

“FUCK, fuckfuckfuck, Dieter!!!!” He kept thrusting his fingers, licking your clit and sucking, occasionally removing his fingers to use his tongue. You came with a shudder, squirting on his face and losing all control as he guided your hips with his arms, still using his tongue to work you through it. “Fuck, baby, that was so good.”

You stopped grinding and crawled off his face, him quickly turning you around and kissing your lips.

You could taste yourself in his mouth. You both pulled away breathlessly. “Fuck. That was so fucking hot. You taste amazing.” He grabbed your ass cheeks, spreading them ever so slightly with a squeeze, letting the cool air graze your hole, causing you to whimper.

“Need you inside me,” you kissed him, desperate for more.

He pulled you into his lap, the head of his cock resting against your clit, causing you to hiss and unintentionally jerk your hips forward, resulting in a moan from him.

“Condom?” You ask, pointing to the night stand.

“You don't want me to fill you up? Have some cookies and milf next year?” He smirked, cocky, his tongue poking in the side of his mouth. “Maybe let it snow on your tits?” he asked, giving your breasts a squeeze and angling his head down to suck on each nipple.

“No, D,” you laughed. “Tonight I want my present wrapped.”

He laughed, rolling on the condom before gesturing to his festive penis. “Where on earth did you find a green and red one?” you laughed.

“Never underestimate my sexual prowess, baby,” he flipped you over so that he was on top.

“I wouldn't dare,” you kissed, sucking his lip and spreading your legs as he slid into you. At the feeling of him bottoming out against you, you both sighed, him giving you a second to fully adjust before he began to thrust. In and out. In. And out.

You scratched his back as he pulled your thighs up higher, hitting a deeper angle inside of you. “Treat me like your little ho, ho, ho,” you moan, nipping at his ear.

“Fuck,” he groans, panting. “You're so fucking sexy baby. Taking me so well. Fuck, just like that. Right there.” He thrust. In, out, in, out. “Fuck, squeezing me so nicely. I'm gonna cum, baby. Give me one more.”

He angled his cock towards your g-spot once again, hitting it over, and over, and over again. Your stomach was tightening and you could feel yourself getting closer, the coil ready to snap. “Come on, baby, I know you're almost there. Cum for me.” He thrust harder, hitting that spot again and reached between you to draw quick circles around your clit with the rhythm of his cock.

“There you go,” he pulled you closer, “just like that. Let it all go.” You shook, liquid pooling from your cunt, spent and feeling so, so good and warm. With a few more shaky strokes, he thrust hard into you and you felt him twitching inside as he filled the condom up. Both of you coming down from your highs, he collapsed on top of you, kissing your neck, your jaw, and your ear, before meeting your lips in a frenzy.

“Horny Holidays, baby.”

“Happy hornydays, Dieter,” you laughed.

“We need some post-sex cookies,” he growled, rolling you over above him only to smack your ass, before rolling back on top and climbing out of bed, not bothering to get dressed. You watched his cock swing and his butt jiggle as he scampered to the kitchen, coming back with a heaping plate full of cookies.

“D, that's practically all the cookies,” you laughed, taking one off the plate.

“Guess we'll have to make some more.” He winked, taking a bite. “I wouldn't mind repeating what followed, either. I'd love to really stuff your stocking,” he added with a grin.

“You're insatiable!” You smacked his arm.

“Only for my Santa baby,” he kissed, pulling you to sit on his lap while you indulged in treats.

“I love you Dieter,” you ran your hands through his curls.

“I love you too, babe,” he pulled you closer to punctuate the statement with a deep kiss, both of you sighing and pulling away to eat more cookies until you eventually both dozed off.

The end! Happy holidays 😂 let me know what you think :) reblogs are apprectiated

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godssandals · 1 year ago

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Ohhhh yeah it’s bad

Holy Jesus I might be in love

#*grinch voice* IM FEELINGGG #le rambles

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mymissalicorne · 29 days ago

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Since Halloween is scary time, I wanted to watch a scary movie (my definition of scary movie can include the Grinch, Kuroshitsuji 2014 and the Lorax depending on my mood)

So I watched the Kazeki OVA

The french subtitles did justice to Kurt "you're crazy about that dirty little faggot" moment, so good job everyone

Also the song they were all singing while they were going in town. Well, it used the rhythm of a real french song while using the wrong lyrics?? It was the rhythm of "Sur le pont d'Avignon", so maybe it's just a rhythm that was often used in this region back in the days ? Since Arles and Avignon are pretty close ? Idk

Review : Gilbert is mentally ill, August is a little shit, Serge tries really hard to be nice, Nekka is a fucking brunette, Rosemarine is distracting me with his hair and Carl looks soooooo out of place.

Well, not exactly out of place, it's just that shits are happening, and he tries to make things as good as they can be with the few means he has. Except his means are literally almost inexistent. Can't really develop on this because I didn't read the manga so I could just be saying shit

#kaze to ki no uta #la balade du vent et des arbres #kinda cool that they told us from the beginning that Gilbert was the wind and Serge was the trees's branches #mymi talks for once

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yningz · 5 months ago

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Can you assign your moots (even the ones you never talked to) some kpop artists / pop artists in general? Like how do you see them??

(one of your moots here)

WOAH ALL OF THEM?? okay!! This is gonna be awkward but yeah.

@spirit-jello - as winter from aespa!! Idk who you stan or ever seen your face,BUTTT My pooks,been missing you so much :(( you never really post that much these days and I still don't know you enough but you were the first moot I ever had on this account,thank you so much 🥹

@y2zhiou - soobin from txt ofc,I've said it many times and your smile is so much like soobins,but your whole asf face is like the grinch so..

@xenxoxo - is that question? Keita from evnne, I've always said your face is like his lmaooo

@rykeeiii - YOSHI I SWEAR YOSHI ESPECIALLY WHEN YOURE WEARING GLASSESSSSSS

@sanrikis - a moot I never talked to but your whole account is so aesthetic I love it!! If I say you give of vibes of a certain idol..I guess yunah from illit?

@s2doll - another moot I never interacted with,not a kpop idol but Melanie / crybaby,,idk why your moodboards just scream her!!

@theriizeler - my daughter, uhm anyways HANNI FROM NEWJEANS OF COURSEEEEE

@hyunjinfiles - kys anyways yujin from Ive.

@slytherinshua - don't get me wrong we ain't pushing any gender roles here but I can never see your account without remembering Joshua from seventeen because of your username 😞

@eternalgyu - eunchae from le sserafim for no specific reason at all hehe :33

@jjesperr - never interacted but Ricky from zerobaseone!!!

@4uarterlife - never interacted (again),,your account gives me yena vibes idk why?? But your moodboards are so pretty :((

@itxsrmv - karina from aespa,YOURE SO NICE IVE SEEN YOU LIKING MY POSTS AND I JUST BECOME SO HAPPY EVERYTIME <33 I wanna talk more too!!

@conegrays - not a kpop idol but conan gray of course!! I've seen your posts and most of them are about him

@akaitochu - never interacted (yes,again) butttt this is a hard one I'm gonna say yuna from itzy

@haecien - you seem really nice (another one I never interacted with but you're so cool it's like I'm a kid trying to talk to the cool kid) minghao from seventeen because he's cool and you're cool too

@just-danisito - I'm not adding blank blogs in this list so I don't know where to put you in the middle you have a theme so- suga from bts :))

@imwonyoungs - never interacted but since you said in the username that you're wonyoing so you're wonyoung hehe

@f-flurios - your whole blog is so cute!! Anyways you give me belle from kol vibes :33

@n-americano - LITERALLY THE MOST GORGUES I DONT KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT BUT THE PRETTIEST MOODBOARDS IVE SEEN ARE MADE BY YOUUUUUUU OKSVSKSHD I LOVE YOUR MOODBOARDS SO MUCH ,,renjun from nct dream ^^

@rluwz - giselle from aespa,newest moot n your account is so pretty <3

@hxneyujin - shotaro just because of your cheeks nyom nyom

PHEW IM DONE NOW (I left some of the blank blogs or blogs that haven't posted for a while now,sorry :-( )

#inbox 💌.

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mosthomoeroticenemies · 2 years ago

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The Contestants

Cherik (Professor X/Magneto) - X-Men

Fuffy (Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Megop (Optimus Prime/Megatron) - Transformers

Curtwen (Curt Mega/Owen Carvour) - Spies are Forever

Thoschei (The Doctor/The Master) - Doctor Who

Perryshmirtz (Perry the Platypus/Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz) - Phineas and Ferb

Catradora (Adora/Catra) - She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Soukoku (Osamu Dazai/Chuuya Nakahara) - Bungo Stray Dogs

c!TnTDuo (c!Quackity/c!Wilbur Soot) - Dream SMP

Spy/Supervillain - Genghis Khan by Miike Snow

Batman/Joker - Lego Batman

Wrightworth (Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth) - Ace Attorney

Batjokes (Batman/Joker) - Batman

Lawlight (L/Light Yagami) - Death Note

Bowiugi (Bowser/Luigi) - Mario

Stanarrator (Narrator/Stanley) - The Stanley Parable

Kidlaw (Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law) - One Piece

Shuake (Goro Akechi/Akira Kurusu) - Persona 5

Cuttletavio (Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio) - Splatoon

Gethan (Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Zosan (Roronoa Zoro/Sanji) - One Piece

ChellDOS (Chell/GLaDOS) - Portal

Jesus Christ/Judas Iscariot - The New Testament

Gwensuzie (Gwen Cooper/Suzie Costello) - Torchwood

Krisnix (Phoenix Wright/Kristoph Gavin) - Ace Attorney

Griffguts (Guts/Griffith) - Berserk

Hannigram (Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter) - Hannibal

Ghiralink (Ghirahim/Link) - Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Valvert (Javert/Jean Valjean) - Les Miserables

Abestache (Detective Abe Lincoln/Wilford Warfstache) - Markiplier Cinematic Universe

Sasunaru (Naruto/Sasuke) - Naruto

Jedediah/Octavius - Night at the Museum

Nami/Kalifa - One Piece

Gabv1el (V1/Gabriel) - Ultrakill

Kazumaji (Kazuma Kiryu/Goro Majima) - Yakuza

Zukka (Zuko/Sokka) - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Ineffable Husbands (Aziraphale/Crowley) - Good Omens

Billford (Bill Cipher/Stanford Pines) - Gravity Falls

Evelyn Deavor/Elastigirl - Incredibles 2

Jennifer Check/Needy Lesnicki - Jennifer’s Body

Kigo (Kim Possible/Shego) - Kim Possible

Sportarobbie (Sportacus/Robbie Rotten) - Lazy Town

Swan Queen (Emma Swan/Regina Mills) - Once Upon a Time

Hardenshipping (Magma Leader Maxie/Aqua Leader Archie) -Pokemon OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire

Westley/Inigo Montoya - Princess Bride

Sonadow (Sonic/Shadow) - Sonic the Hedgehog

Plabs (Plankton/Mr. Krabs) - SpongeBob SquarePants

Kylux (General Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren) - Star Wars

Johnchurch (Merle Highchurch/John Hunger) - The Adventure Zone: Balance

Basigan (Professor Ratigan/Basil of Baker Street) - The Great Mouse Detective

LonelyEyes (Elias Buchard/Peter Lukas) - The Magnus Archives

Johnjack (Jack Harkness/John Hart) - Torchwood

Blicy (Bloom/Icy) - Winx Club

Riddlebat (Batman/The Riddler) - Batman comics

Shin Soukoku (Atsushi Nakajima/Ryuunosuke Akutagawa) - Bungo Stray Dogs

Snowbaz (Baz Pitch/Simon Snow) - Carry On

Komahina (Nagito Komaeda/Hajime Hinata) - Danganronpa

Wonder Woman/Cheetah - DC

Spamvil (Jevil/Spamton) - Deltarune

Rk1000 (Connor/Markus) - Detroit: Become Human

John McClane/Hans Gruber - Die Hard

Fenders (Fenris/Anders) - Dragon Age 2

Vegekaka (Goku/Vegeta) - Dragon Ball Z

Rapple (Apple White/Raven Queen) - Ever After High

Billdip (Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines) - Gravity Falls

Radiostatic (Vox/Alastor) - Hazbin Hotel

Sirdust (Angel Dust/Sir Pretious) - Hazbin Hotel

Fengqing (Feng Xin/Mu Qing) - Heaven Official’s Blessing

Blitzer (Blitzø/Striker) - Helluva Boss

Martha May Whovier/Betty Lou Who - How the Grinch Stole Christmas

ZaDr (Zim/Dib) - Invader Zim

Sarumi (Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki) - K Project

Metadede (King Dedede/Meta Knight) - Kirby

Gandalf/Sauron - Lord of the Rings

Island Husbands (Ben Linus/John Locke) - Lost

Metromind (Megamind/Metro Man) - Megamind

Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/William James Moriarty) - Moriarty the Patriot

Bujeet (Buford/Bajeet) - Phineas and Ferb

Grovyle/Dusknoir - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky

Shassie (Shawn Spencer/Carlton “Lassie” Lassiter) - Psych

Rayaari (Raya/Namaari) - Raya and the Last Dragon

Tycutio (Mercutio/Tybalt) - Romeo and Juliet

Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/James Moriarty) - Sherlock

Obikin (Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi) - Star Wars

Obimaul (Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul) - Star Wars

Oncelax (The Onceler/The Lorax) - The Lorax

Owen Harper/Mark Lynch - Torchwood

Lord Hater/Wander - Wander Over Yonder

Gelphie (Elphaba/Galinda) - Wicked

Cruellanita (Cruella de Vil/Anita) - 101 Dalmations

Angelo Lagusa/Nero Vanetti - 91 Days

Discotrain (The Conductor/DJ Grooves) - A Hat in Time

Klapollo (Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice) - Ace Attorney

Wrightdot (Godot/Phoenix Wright) - Ace Attorney

Kaneda/Tetsuo - Akira

Sydney Bristow/Lauren Reed - Alias

Ellen Ripley/The Xenomorph - Alien

Zadison (Zoe Benson/Madison Montgomery) - American Horror Story: Coven

Sterling Archer/Barry Dylan - Archer

Y’all (The Poll Takers)/Me (The Poll Maker) - askeletonwar

Just Walk Out!/Papyrus - askeletonwar

Londo Mollari/G’kar - Babylon 5

Rampage/Depth Charge - Beast Wars: Transformers

Pinariz (Riz/Pina) - Beastars

Kunieda Aoi/Hildegarde - Beezlebub

Sebagrell (Grell/Sebastian) - Black Butler

Gus Fring/Walter White - Breaking Bad

Spangel (Spike/Angel) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spuffy (Spike/Buffy) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Winteriron (Tony Stark/The Winter Soldier) - Captain America: Civil War

Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes) - Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Carulia (Carmen Sandiego/Julia Argent) - Carmen Sandiego

Macavity/Munkustrap - Cats (1998)

Caius Marcius Coriolanus/Tullus Aufidius - Coriolanus

Dean Pelton/Dean Spreck - Community

Shadowghast (Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss) - Critical Role

Blumentrio (Caleb Widogast/Eadwulf Grieve/Astrid Becke) -Critical Role

Theopin (Lapin Cadbury/Sir Theobald Gumbar) - D20: A Crown of Candy

Hero/Villain - dannyphantom.exe

Clex (Superman/Lex Luthor) - DC

Babsquinn (Batgirl/Harley Quinn) - DC

Seavil (Jevil/Seam) - Deltarune

Rengoku Kyoujurou/Akaza - Demon Slayer

Mal/Uma - Descendants

Reed800 (Connor/Gavin Reed) - Detroit: Become Human

Ryokira (Akira/Ryo) - Devilman

Maxwil (Maxwell/Wilson) - Don't Starve

Nikki/Mackenzie - Dork Diaries

Gell/Frisky - Dot X

Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer - Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Count Dracula/Jonathan Harker - Dracula

Joan Watson/Jamie Moriarty - Elementary

Zerxus Ilerez/Asmodeus - Exandria Unlimited: Calamity

Gratsu (Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster) - Fairy Tail

Gary/John - Faith

Peter Griffin/The Chicken - Family Guy

John Crichton/Scorpius - Farscape

Emiya Archer/Cu Chulainn - Fate Stay Night

Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth - Final Fantasy VII

Cidnero (Nero tol Scaeva/Cid Garlond) - Final Fantasy XIV

Willry (Henry Emily/William Afton) - Five Nights at Freddy’s

Victor Frankenstein/The Monster - Frankenstein

Cure Peach/Eas - Fresh Pretty Cure!

Haikaveh (Alhaitham/Kaveh) - Genshin Impact

Sugio (Sugimoto/Ogata) - Golden Kamuy

Nygmobblepot (Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot) - Gotham

Mabifica (Mabel Pines/Pacifica Northwest) - Gravity Falls

Kagehina (Hinata/Kageyama) - Haikyuu!

#mosthomoeroticenemies #contestants

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neptunedivine · 2 years ago

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midheaven observations pt. 1

hi everyone! I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to talk about some midheaven observations I’ve made mentally. I know these aren’t all of them, but these were on my mind at the time. I hope you enjoy the read! :)

aries midheaven ✧ People with this angle either want to be/are the first to do something in their profession or the best at their profession (actually I feel like this could be said for all prominent Aries placements, but I digress). As someone with the placement, I feel like it’s very important for natives to be passionate about their career. Unless they will not want to pursue it.

ex: Celine Dion ✧ Celine Dion has this midheaven and she’s regarded as one of the greatest vocalists of all time. Also, have you heard her sing other songs other than My Heart Will Go On? There’s nothing wrong with that song, it’s a classic for a reason. But I don’t think it displays how fiery her voice is when she sings. Listen to Treat Her Like a Lady, she sounds incredible.

taurus midheaven ✧ Those with Taurus ruling their midheaven will most likely find careers in beauty/beautifying, the arts, and finance. Sidereally, people who have Taurus placements are commonly Aries placements in sidereal astrology (as someone who has her moon in Taurus tropically, but her moon in Aries sidereally). I think the passion and “all or nothing” attitude Aries midheavens have toward their career comes through for Taurus midheavens, but instead of translating as impatience, I see it as stubbornness. Like they won’t get up and storm off if they don’t like what they’re doing careerwise, instead they might do it but they’ll complain the whole time. They also won’t put as much effort into their profession as if they cared about their work.

ex: Tyler the Creator ✧ Have you seen the Jimmy Kimmel interview where Tyler talks about his two jobs before fully committing to music? (I’ll link it below). Not only is it hilarious, but Tyler also explains that he wasn’t happy at either of his jobs. At most he did the minimum to make an income, but he didn’t really care for it. Comparing this to how he talks about his music career, there’s a wild difference. He looks so happy and not only that but excited for the work and projects he gets to do not only in the music industry (which in itself expands past making albums and singles as he scored for a fashion show and for The Grinch film in 2018) but for his brand Golf le Fleur that expands into beauty with fragrances and fashion with the apparel and shoewear he creates (he also has some collaborations with Converse I believe). And, he’s very invested in his collections. I think I saw him geeking over this very rare Gucci or Cartier watch that’s really hard to get but he was gifted it. He’s very proud of his collections and he cares about them a lot (makes sense with Taurus not only being the traditional ruler of the 2H which rules over personal wealth, finances, self-worth, possessions, etc but is opposite Scorpio in the natal chart which in my opinion, I view as very possessive and those traits can be seen in its sister sign). It warms my heart tbh.

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scorpio ascendant + leo midheaven ✧ How much do you guys like the spotlight? Like actually? (no, I’m not talking to the Sagittarius risings with a Leo midheaven, I know you guys want that limelight 😂). I feel like it’s not too much, though you always end up getting the attention. I wonder if this is more of an emphasis on the Scorpio Pluto generation than the Sagittarius Pluto generation. I’m not saying this still won’t apply, but I question if it’s to a lesser extent since the Scorpio Pluto generation would have Pluto in their first house rather than their second house. That air of mystery and isolation could be stronger. I feel like I only see you guys when you’re pursuing your profession, almost to get it over with? Like “dang I got to walk this red carpet it’s a part of my job”, you could mask it well but I don’t think you guys really want to be there. As much as you guys may not like it, you’re very talented at what you do.

ex: Frank Ocean ✧ This man casually dropped diamonds (not gems, DIAMONDS) and then he dipped. I feel like his “prime” (I don't like using that term because I have hope he’ll release something again) is regarded so highly. All of his very limited performances, releases, and interview(s?) are put on pedestals and watched over and over again. It almost doesn’t feel right to say he’s one of the greatest in the music industry, in my opinion, because his career lives in its own domain. I haven’t seen a songwriter really compare to him since, other than SZA (i love them both so much it’s insane).

aries ascendant + capricorn midheaven v. capricorn ascendant + libra midheaven ✧ I think all cardinal midheavens have the advantage of having their placement because it allows them to stick to their plans and achieve their goals (the same can be said for fixed midheavens too). But to what extent, depends on what sign is ruling.

ex: Ariana Grande ✧ If we were to look at Ariana Grande, for example, she has a Libra midheaven and a Capricorn ascendant. So she’s set up well for career success and achieving her goals (which is true, she doesn’t have that many fame indicators in her chart, but she does believe in manifestation and has put in the hard work to achieve a lot of her success in the music industry and the perfume industry. Yes, I know she has well-off parents, but do you know how many nepotism babies have the money and still sit on their a**? Yeah…). But, I don’t know if being a businesswoman is as strong of a desire for her as presenting a beautiful aesthetic (which there’s nothing wrong with that!). This can be seen recently with how people feel about R.E.M beauty. Yes, it’s pretty, I’m a sucker for the space aesthetic. But I’ve seen on many occasions where people are not satisfied with the quality of her products.

ex: Rihanna ✧ Now if we look at Rihanna, she's also a very successful woman in the music industry. (I looked them both up on Spotify and Ariana sits at 4th in the world for the number of monthly listeners she has and Rihanna sits at 10th, that’s amazing omg). I think other than Fenty Beauty, she had one perfume launch and a clothing brand that she abandoned…anyway. Fenty Beauty is the most commercially successful celebrity makeup brand, with revenues grossing $570 million. I think with Aries in combination with Capricorn here, paired with the business mindset and goals, there’s again the need to be the first and/or best at what you do. Rihanna shows this with Fenty Beauty and the Fenty brand not only with its massive success but with its inclusivity, from the models she chooses and the shade inclusivity of her makeup products.

✧ I think the difference in these ascendant and midheaven combinations is that with Aries and Capricorn, if the first goal doesn’t work, they’re quick to realize that, ditch it, and move on to the next plan for their success. I feel like that’s what Rihanna did with her fashion brand. With the Libra and Capricorn combination, there’s still a high rate for success, but I don’t think the need for success and winning especially is as strong. I feel as long as everything looks pretty and is going well to their standards, these placements are content.

that’s all for now. if you want to send me a placement that you’d like my observation on, you can leave your requests in my ask box! Please only send three placements per ask, but you can send multiple asks. It just makes it less overwhelming for me. see you later! 💕

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xochiquetza3autora · 1 year ago

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Mi Top 5 de Escenas XXX Navideñas Para Disfrutar es estas Fiestas.

Estos días son de celebración y jubilo por las fiestas invernales, Tal vez la más importante o conocida sea la Navidad que esta apunto de llegar. El frio domina el ambiente (por lo menos en el hemisferio norte) y que mejor que combatirlo que compartir un poco de calor corporal y a industria del cine XXX lo sabe. Para la industria del Cine para adultos no hay fiesta que no se pueda celebrar por lo que la navidad no es una excepción, por eso les traigo unas recomendaciones de escenas "NOPOR" con la temática de estas fiestas que nos puede a ayudar a mantener el espíritu navideño sin dejar nuestro lado pervertido.

05) How The Grinch Fucked Xmas! (¡Como El Grinch Jodió La Navidad!)

(2008) Una adaptación muy pero muy libre del clásico cuento del Dr. Seuss "¡Como el Grinch Robo la Navidad!", en el que el Grinch es interpretado por Keiran Lee y cuenta con la participación de las ahora legendarias Carmella Bing (retirada) y Shyla Stylez (fallecida) que hacen el papel de vecinas "Ho" (algo así como putas o cachondas) en forma de parodia de lo "Whos" (Quienes) del cuento original. Cuando sus vecinas amantes de la navidad llegan a tratar de alegrar al Sr. Grinch, el amargado las folla por todos los agujeros, así es hasta por detrás, antes de lanzarlas a la calle.

04) Jiggle All The Way (Zangolotea todo el camino)

(2012) Otra parodia de una historia navideña, Esta vez se trata de "El Regalo Prometido" ("Jingle all the way" en inglés). En plena Noche Buena Puma Swede esta buscando un juguete para su hijo, "Cosquillitas Woody" (una horrible parodia de Elmo vestido como Woody de "Toy Story") Todas las tiendas están por cerrar y los juguetes están agotados salvo por un muñeco que queda en el estante pero antes de que pueda tomarlo Diana Prince se le adelanta. Ambas MILF comienzan a pelar por el juguete para sus hijos, por lo que Will Powers, el encargado de la tienda decide que no dejara que ninguna se lleve el juguete si antes no aprenden a compartir y lo primero que tendrán que compartir será la enorme verga del amable dependiente por sus seis agujeros. Ambas madres se esfuerzan por complacer al buen dependiente creyendo que la mejor se quedara con el juguete pero las deliciosas y generosas mamás aprenderán que toda buena obra tiene su recompensa (plot twist: Will tiene un segundo juguete guardado en la bodega).

03) Naughty or Nice? (¿Traviesa o Amable?)

(2013) Santa Claus, Encarnado por Toni Ribas, necesita una nueva Señora Claus, por lo que uno de sus duendes le presenta un par de chicas suculentas de pechos grandes y traseros enormes: Phoenix Marie y Ava Addams. Una se comporta como una chica picara y traviesa y la otra se porta como una niña simpática y amable. Para demostrar quien e la mejor pareja, las dos chicas tetonas se turnan para lamerse los coños y los anos, y luego chupan la polla navideña de Santa. Después de eso Santa se mete profundamente en sus coños y en sus apretados culos ¡Una vez haya terminado de follar sus dos culos gordos, es hora de que Santa dispare una carga caliente de "espíritu navideño" en las bocas de las chicas para que lo compartan! Y entonces Santa tendrá que hacer su elección.

02) Our Holiday Three Way (Nuestro Trío de Dia Festivo)

(2015) El pobre y solitario Levi Cash esta ansioso y deprimido en Noche Buena que le pide a "Santa Claus" una Esposa que le haga compañía, como nadie toca a su puerta vuelve a pedir su deseo pero esta segunda vez se lo pide al "Espíritu de la Navidad". Esa misma noche, mientras duerme, Aparece Peta Jensen para hacerle compañía y mientras hace de todo con ella escucha mas gemidos en la sala ¡Sorpresa! Ahí esta Nicole Aniston esperándolo como su segunda esposa. Parece que tato "Santa Claus" como "El Espíritu de la Navidad" le cumplieron si deseo para recompensar su espíritu noble y generoso

01) Ofice 4-Play: Christmas Bonuses (Oficina para jugar: Bonos de Navidad)

(2017) Esta es quizá una de las mejores escenas Navideñas que existen ya que no aparece una o dos actrices ¡SON CUATRO! Monique Alexander, Nicolette Shea, Romi Rain y la siempre maravillosa Ava Addams. Cuando regresa esa época mágica del año: fiestas navideñas, travesuras en la oficina, y recibir un gran bono de Navidad. Al menos debería serlo, pero después de la desordenando fiesta navideña del año pasado, Keiran Lee tiene otra idea: Este año retendrá los bonos de Navidad hasta después de la fiesta, de esa manera de seguro todos se comportaran de la mejor manera. Afortunadamente para él, las chicas de la oficina tienen una opinión diferente sobre cuál es exactamente su "mejor comportamiento" y antes de que se de cuenta estará teniendo un quinteto caliente con cuatro hermosas chicas tetonas, como en todas y cada una de las escenas de la saga de videos "Office 4-Play".

Menciones Honorificas:

*Ebenazer Keiran (2008)

*Nighmere Before XXX-Mas (2011)

Como pueden ver en esta lista solo incluí escenas de la productora Brazzers, al principio hasta a yo misma me sorprendí, pero me parece que las tramas mantienen algunos de los temas mas característicos de la navidad (mas allá de solo sexo) y los mezclan de forma fantasticamente perversa con la escencia del nopor y el "cine para adultos". Pero si alguien tiene alguna escena favorita que le gustaria sugerir de esa o alguna otra productora, me encantaría leerlos en los comentarios.

¡Feliz y caliente Navidad, Yule, Saturnalia o cualquier festividad que celebren en estas fechas!

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